The Daddy Rules

daddyrules The Daddy RulesKids are always complaining that there are too many rules to follow. No running in the house. No fighting with your brother. No putting your fingers up your nose.

As I picked up the Things at daycare one day, I realized there are an awful lot of rules that I have to follow, too.

Rule #1: Bring snacks for the ride home. Sure, it may not be the best idea before dinner, but it isn’t worth the price of crying and whining I’ll pay if I don’t have them.

Rule #2: Snacks must be the same, and that means the same size. God forbid Thing 1 or Thing 2 thinks they have the smaller snack. If snacks are a sandwich bag of animal crackers, for example, the bags need to have the same number of crackers in them.

Rule #3: Go to Thing 1’s classroom before Thing 2’s. I don’t know if it’s the break from the routine, or, more likely, that Thing 1 thinks he “wins” if he is first. Failure to follow Rule #3 would most certainly result in another four year old meltdown.

Rule #4: There will be a fight to be first into the car. Not so much a rule as a statement of fact. Thing 1 and 2 will push, claw, and grab each other to get into the car first. Followed by the winner’s taunting of “I win”, to the loser’s crying. Luckily I have something of value to hold over them to get them to quiet down (see Rule #1).

Rule #5: Daddy Eats Dinner Last. The kids eat first. Then there are baths to be given. Fights to be broken up. Finally, after Thing 3 is down for the night, I can start to make my dinner. Of course, as soon as Thing 1 and Thing 2 see it, they want some. Which brings us to…

Rule #6: Always make more food than I can eat because I will end up giving most away.

I think I’d rather have the kids’ rules.

Posted with permission from Suburban Daddy

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