This week is Home-Birth week, and I have been given permission from homebirth org and the fathers to post their amazing stories.

Enjoy

- Eric

The Birth of Sabina

I suppose that this can only be useful if I give an idea of the background of the birth of Sabina. I am her dad, Tom, and I have been together with her mother, Lily, for only 18 months but a lot has happened in that time. When I got together with Lil I was lucky enough to get Beth in with the bargain. I am not Beth's biological father but she is my daughter in every other possible way. This creates a curious dynamic that some might relate to. Who is my first daughter? Do I have the concentration not to play favourites? What if they don't look alike? And so on.

Lil and I have flatted together, bought a house, weathered a miscarriage, nervously met each other's families, raised chickens and now we have our new baby.

Lil and I were on the same wavelength when it came to home birth. We had no risk factors, we are close to the hospital (just in case) and both of us abhor the needless medicalisation of the natural process of birth. We chose a great midwife from Birthworks, Suzanne, and everything went perfectly. There is a strange but fulfilling sensation that you have towards your home when your children are born there…down side? How could we sell the house now? ("you see that faded piece of carpet?… that's where you were born.")

Sabina April King was born at home on the 12th October 2007. It was 3 O'clock in the morning and her mother made it look easy. It wasn't, she was born posterior without any pain relief. Beth was woken up so that she could be there, her grandmother looked after her. I played the role of the birthing stool.

During the nine month lead up to Sabina's birth my friends (the ones that are parents) told me that I was in for the experience of a life time. I was going to melt down with emotions, and no matter how much I tried to avoid it I was going to lose it. So here's the thing, I didn't. It's not like I choked it back, I didn't have to, and I have felt guilty because of it. Sabina was born, I saw her head, I saw her body, I cut the cord, I buried the placenta, I did not cry or feel the need to. I am not a kiwi hard bloke, so what was wrong?

Well I guess it just didn't happen that way for me. As the days passed I found myself losing my fear of holding her. I thought about her future. Budgeted. Watched her sleep and cuddle with her sister. She slept on my chest. Conclusion… there is no right way for you to feel, I suppose, but I love my girls.

- Tom

Technorati Tags: birth stories Fathers and daughters home birth Stories