Advice for Teenage Dads

The following information has been published with kind permission from Barnardos (taken from Information Sheet No. 37).

teenage dads Advice for Teenage DadsOne of a teenage males biggest fears can be getting a girl pregnant. What do I tell my friends and family? How will they react? Do I want to continue to be involved with the mother? What’s the story on child support? How can I afford it? What about sport, further study, future career, my mates and all that stuff?

Being a father means there are a lot of issues to sort through and many conflicting demands to balance. You may be unsure if you are the father. Or you may be thinking seriously about what your responsibilities actually are, whether you want involvement in your Childs life, whether or not you want to commit yourself to a long term relationship with the mother and so on.

This is a very good time to call on friends and family for support, assistance or simply a listening ear. IT is also sensible to seek the support and guidance of other new or experienced dads or get in touch with a counsellor or organisation that can help.

Practical Help is vital for young inexperienced parents so don’t hesitate to seek it. If your family is unable to help then other organisations can help with things like baby clothes, nursery equipment and help at home. Help from Salvation Army, Baptist Care, Church Social services, Plunket.

Legal Issues – make sure you get independent legal advice from a community law centre or lawyer, Day to day care and contact are clearly set out in a written document.

Guardianship means making sure a child is properly cared for and having a say in the important decisions as the child grows up.

Paternity – if you decline to be named on the Childs birth certificate, the mother may decide to prove legally that you are the father. Alternatively the mother may not wish you to be named on the birth certificate.

Adoption can cut all legal links between the child and the natural parents. It requires the consent of both natural parents and usually involves an assessment by Child, Youth & family.

Education Issues – If you want to continue at school, the correspondence school maybe the best option. Or a tertiary institution now have crèches or child care centres.

Money Issues – Check with government departments for allowances and benefits.

If you’re a teenage dad or a teenage dad to be please make sure you know there is support out there, so make sure you do use it.

Tips for new dads
* Be involved with your Childs life
* Feel proud of your baby and tell people about it
* Ask for help – there are many people out there who can offer support and advice
* Take time to talk to your baby about anything and everything
* Pick up your baby, bath them, or change their nappy – ask someone like a family member, nurse or midwife to show you some ways of holding your baby
* Watch what others do, ask questions, ask for suggestions, and discover what works best for you.

12 Responses to Advice for Teenage Dads

  1. seema says:

    This an apt article for the helpless introvert teenage dads who have all the odds around them. The article has an encouraging advice to them how to handle themselves, cope with the new situation and meet the responsibility of a dad. But, take it easy, it is time which will teach you how to behave as a good dad and take help from other dads and friends. Thanks for the information.

  2. Bill Paulson says:

    These are some great pieces of advice. There are certainly countless responsibilities that come with being a father, but these are all things that are simply parts of maturing, that never dissipate no matter how old you are. Becoming a father is a wonderful opportunity, so long as you know you can provide the attention and care to the mother and the child that they deserve.

  3. anonymous says:

    What should I do? My girlfriend that I hoped to marry confessed she is pregnant. But it isn’t mine and that it happened before we were together but she found out she was pregnant after we started seeing each other. I don’t want to lose her but dont think the real father is the best option, he’s an alcoholic and pill popper. But both of pur parents are going to be irrate when they find out she’s pregnant.

  4. Dakota says:

    my ex girlfriend left me for another guy about two weeks ago ! we just found out she is 5 weeks pregnant tho now she knows shes pregnant she wants me back ! im all most positive im the father ! but her parents dont like me , and my parents dont like her ! im 17 years old and still looking into collige ! how do i keep the piece between families and further my education while maintaing a part time job ? i need some seriouse advice !

  5. austin says:

    i just turned 16 and my pregnant ex left me and started talking to her ex that was mean to her and hit her me and him got in a fight i dont know what i should do

  6. anonymous says:

    you might never be able to keep the peace between familys . but the one thing you need to do is make sure the baby is yours . support her threw everything and while shes prego you can work and save the money up . but after the baby is born if its not yours then us it for college . if the baby is yours then you both are gonna need to get the familys to help you out with the baby . so you both can work or go to school . if you cant get the support you need them you already know the baby comes first and you might have to wait to finish school . dont give up your never to old to better yourself with a education . i wish you the best alicia

  7. anonymous says:

    Who can I talk to? I’m very stressed, it was my decision from the start but now that it’s happened I’m not so sure. My friend wanted a baby and asked me to father it, I thought long and hard and said sure. Now she is pregnant and I am stressing over telling my parents. I’m not worried about money though. I’ll be starting High school next year so I will be doing online so I can work full time. I’m 15 and she’s 14. She will be going to school online so she can stay home and take care of the child. My mother has always said “If you ever get a girl pregnant I will kill you, then resurrect you cuz I ain’t raisin no more babies. But if the girls parents wont accept her or the baby the she is welcome to move in with us as long as there is no more baby makin taking place” And I trust my mom to keep her word, so the girl will come and move in with us. I just wanted to talk to someone cuz this stress is eating me alive.

  8. joe says:

    i also an a teen father and i am here for you to talk to any time if you have a tumbler add me my tumbler is … http://teenagedaddydiaries.tumblr.com/ and if not and u just wana talk or text me my phone number is 727 6881813 i will always be here for you if you need advise or any thing i promise

  9. anonymous says:

    Dumbass

  10. anonymous says:

    beat his ass and win her back!!!!

  11. Bradley m. S. says:

    Im 17 my mom is controlling my 16 year old fiancé is pregnant by me, I’m lost but ik I’m going to stay with her and my child be it a boy or a girl we don’t know yet. But we are set to get married next summer but idk how to tell my mom bc she lives near my grandparents and I live in upstate new York I need to tell her I’m not coming back and I’m looking for advice to tell her that I have a responsibility now and the same thing that happened to her is happening to me… Can someone help? E-mail me [removed by editor - contact DIYFather to email directly]

  12. stefan says:

    Hey Bradley – congrats on becoming a dad. Probably seems pretty tough right now but there are also lighter moments ahead with your baby I’m sure.

    Try writing your mom a letter – as in a physical snail mail letter and handwrite it. Think about what you want to say beforehand … once you’ve got your thoughts in order, write them up. Read again – then send.

    Ask her in the letter to “not be mad” and give you a call once she’s thought about it. Then you talk it through with her and think about some practical implications. You will need some help most likely … bringing up a kid is pretty full on. Take all the help you can get – especially from close relatives.

    All the best – Stefan

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