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Discover what a great Dad you are!
Submitted by community on Thu, 04/09/2008 - 7:25pm.
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What every New Dad needs to know and then discover what a great Dad you are!

And what every New Mom needs to know – or she’ll make it hard for you to be the Dad you want to be!

It’s been a slow change – who’s to blame – no-one really – we (Midwives, Obstetricians, Health Professionals) were just too busy looking after Mom and Baby – that sometimes we just didn’t see the Dad sitting in the background – unsure of what he could do.

Of course there were Dads who always promised themselves – that they didn’t care if it was not a blokey thing to do – they were going to change nappies/diaper, they were going to bath their baby, they were going to sing to their baby – they were going to tell their baby great stories about great footballers, or great men they knew – they were going to be a part of their baby’s life – and they couldn’t wait to get started – from the minute they could – they would be there – helping Mom in every and any way they could – they were going to have a special relationship with their child. Maybe they felt that their own Dad never cared – but whatever the reason – they were going to make sure that their baby got to know them – in a loving way – in a way that would be special to both of them – for the rest of their lives. These fathers were few and far between – but nowadays – things are different!

Because the USA was struggling to build prisons fast enough to house the increasing number of criminals it was creating – researchers began to spend time talking to these prisoners – following-up on what happened in their lives – trying to understand why they ended up in prison. Governments started to put more and more money into this research – cause it appeared that there was a shocking link between neglected or abused babies – and these adult criminals. The proof is there – so much so – that Governments around the world – now put huge amounts of money into supporting first time parents - particularly new families. This is the time when you are creating your community – creating the society you will be living in 15 – 20 years down the track, because how we are caring for these babies – will influence the way they turn out.

Most incredible of all is the evidence that shows that Dads who get involved in a positive loving way – right from the start and throughout the first years of the baby’s life – these babies grow into children who are more likely to do well at school, make a positive contribution to their society, are less likely to be involved in drug taking or criminal activity – are more likely to be able to develop positive relationships with others – and most importantly, I think, have positive self esteem i.e believe that they are a worthwhile individual.

Those babies who have Dads who don’t care and don’t take any interest in their baby, or who treat their baby aggressively – create children who are likely to struggle at school, are more likely to get into trouble with the law, become violent themselves and to believe deep down inside that they are worthless. The girl babies grow up to be children who are more likely to drop out of school early, have sex before they are ready for it, and again – believe that they have little worth.

These are such exciting times we live in! Wow – with Dads everywhere – knowing that they want to be involved with their baby – wanting to develop a loving relationship with their baby – getting their hands dirty – in more ways than one!
The world is changing – each baby.. each Dad.. each Mom – one family unit at a time – and you’re part of it – you’re making it happen – so spread the word – visit Dads the word for more information and go for it!!! Gently gently – this is a newborn baby we’re talking about! Learn how to safely care for your newborn and enjoy!!

- Ros Vroom

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I feel like a failing father

I feel like a failing father now. When I was younger and my wife and I only had one or two children I was home all the time and my parenting skills are pretty good so I believe I intereacted well with my kids and this was benificial for both them and me. However in the last 5 or 6 years I have been obliged to work and live largely overseas. We have 4 children now whom I love very much but the economic reality is that I can only earn enough to look after them by working for my company in other countries where I am paid 3 1/2 to 4 times that which I am paid for doing the same job in NZ.
I am unable to relocate my family to the places I work as the cost of educating all four children in foreign speaking nations is prohibitive and they tend to be hazardous locations also.
It is my assertion that the social and econimic climate in NZ now is not conducive to the maintenance of family units. I love my family but if I were to return to NZ now I could not even earn enough to pay my mortgage let alone the plethora of other expenses a family of six incurs.

So Kevin - let's make this

So Kevin - let's make this real. What can/should parents of a sick child do? I mean your comment seems very general. Also what background information exists to document how the technique you mentioned helps children?

-Stef

Psychosomatic

Psychosomatic Healing
Handling the stress related to all illness. With a reduction in Mental and Physical Stress comes an improvement in health.

Spiritual and Mental Stress [psychosomatic], cause a large proportion of physical and mental illnesses, experienced by individuals.

These physical symptoms are then diagnosed by the Medical Doctor and Psychiatrists etc and treated with physical treatments. [Medication, operations, chemotherapy etc]

As the medical model mainly deals with the physical symptoms and has virtually no cures for these illnesses, and never will, they become acute or chronic and need long-term treatment.

When the Spiritual and Mental aspects of the psychosomatic illness or injury are handled with Auditing, the symptoms improve and in many cases cease to exist.

All illness should be handled with Spiritual and Mental Therapies [Auditing] if possible, as medication or drugs are not needed to get improvement and it has no side effects. The improvement is rapid, as after therapy the person is aware that his/her condition has improved.

Many operations are not needed when the above Auditing Techniques are used on the physical or mental condition or problem. Work stress can be lessened quickly without medications. All injuries, healing of them can be sped up. Many other problems can be improved by increasing a persons abilities and education to cope with life

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