Hey

Great work and to hear that these arent isolate incidence! I am so waiting for this to happen to me, it wont be pretty and there will be another article but will will probably be in the newspaper - "Dad go ballistic at onlookers"? :-). Yep Im the same I dont suffer fools either.

Thanks for this and hopefully by letting women know that basically they are discriminating against us they should as you say "back off" well lets hope anyway.

Scott

Scott: This has happened to me time and again. In public with my son, him grizzly (not even crying madly, when some woman feels like she needs to give her unsolicited input.

The last time, this older woman asked if she could pick him up. I said she could, thinking that she was asking me a favor and I was doing good thing letting her hold a sweet baby. Only then did it come out that she basically thought I was inept and wanted to "sooth him." I, somewhat selfishly, was happy to see that my son did not "sooth," but only got more upset. When he didn't sooth, she concluded that he was hungry and wanted to know where him mum was. I said that she was in the store and would be joining us in a few minutes (which was the truth). She decided to "wait for her" while holding my son. For some reason I was still concerned with being nice to this lady. So, I assured her in the gentlest way possible that we would be fine if she left us. She finally did, but I noticed her lingering around the area watching until my wife returned.

I am over being nice about this. Generally, I don't agree that these women are genuinely concerned or are trying to help. I think they are self-important and bigoted. The next time I am approached with anything other than a genuine question about whether they can help, I will be responding with a "mind your business and go to hell." I will invite them to call the police or child services if they are concerned, but to otherwise back off. I suspect that this will only reinforce their opinions of my ineptness, but I simply can't be bothered and don't suffer fools gladly.

Lance, I read this and thought what the ****, have are we as a society that backward?? I come back to that original comment "Do women think we are that stupid?"? I would have to say yes they probably do if this is the case from your comments.

I think you are a very patient person I probably would have gone off - do some women think that fathers are just paedophiles who just dont even have any interaction with their children? If a policeman had asked me what was going on I would have just told him to ask the women as they probably knew better then I would!

Hmm the TV advert of "know me before you judge me" has reverted to "judge me before you know me"? Women are wanting their husbands/partners to take more responsibility with children and when we do we get criticised for it hmmm strange!

Great to hear that I am not the only one who has been laughed at!

Interesting that one, Scott.

I too have been the butt of women's scorn and semi-hidden laughter as they watched me cope with fatherhood. Funny thing is that - given the same set of circumstances - you don't see women passing the same comments to each other about other women though, do you?

My wife has a business that ties her up most weekends and also some evenings. This is fine - I have no objection to the additional revenue it brings in - as it leaves me with many hours to have fun and play with my 6 and 3 year old girls.

Sometimes this CAN be an issue (like if something has fallen off of the house and needs immediate attention to remedy and avoid an even larger bill down the track) as it's difficult to work on a serious project with kids constantly clambering for attention, but it IS manageable to a degree. God bless the inventer of the television, the video, the dvd, the stereo system and the computer - as well as whoever put the wild inventive imagination in my girls' heads that allows them to amuse themselves with conjured dragons, castles, princesses, race professionals, giant flower growers and anything else their minds can create and reproduce.

However, when one is in the supermarket and one's 6 year old sees something that she 'absolutely must HAVE' and does not appreciate being given the negative on the purchase and she decides at that minute to perform the most dramatic scenes from her repertoire for the complete audience of the local Pak'N'Save branch at the top of her voice, one cannot help but notice the scornful stares and whispered commenting from the maternal community.

One does also notice other similarly encumbered fathers offering knowing glances that say silently 'been there, done that, know what you're going through and right now it's better you than me, pal', as they hurriedly herd their progeny in the other direction in case of the flow-on effect.

When Kristyn (the 6 year old) was born and I had her on my own for the first time, I decided to take her up to the botanical gardens and go for a walk in the sunshine. Duly packed up in her stroller, we started the walk around all of the different things with Daddy squaring his shoulders in pride as he showed the world his new bub. Dumb.

Kristyn didn't like the wind in her face and started crying, so I turned the stroller around and faced the handles the other way. She decided then that the sun was on her face and she didn't like that either and cried again, so I altered the direction we were walking to compensate. She then messed herself and was one of these babies that didn't like it on her, so I attempted to find a place in the shade out of the wind to change her as we were ages away from any civilised convenience.

By the time I located a suitable area, she was screaming. This didn't stop as I unpacked the stroller, got the change mat and nappy replacement out of the nappy bag and set everything up ready. It got worse as I undid her jumpsuit as she decided she'd rather be warm and smelly than be cold and clean.

When I finally got her cleaned up and a new nappy on and just before I managed to put her legs back in her jumpsuit, I heard a voice behind me inquiring what was going on and whether I needed a hand. A blue-uniformed gentleman had been alerted by two women who had heard Kristyn's screams and though I was doing something I should not have been. I turned further and noticed I had an audience of about 15 people - all women - all whom had stopped what they were doing and were coldly staring in my direction.

I explained to the well-meaning officer that she was teething and had filled her nappy with something akin to sulphuric acid and as she did not enjoy the experience, she was letting the world know.

He laughed and said that he figured as much (being a father of 5 himself) but had to set the minds of these two women at ease by coming over and saying gudday. He then helped me pack up and offered a very good suggestion - Bepanthen - for the extreme nappy rashes that occur in these times, then went to explain to the women that I was not the paedophile they made me out to be, but a capable father who was just doing what needed to be done.

The other women who had been watching were all muttering between themselves and I overheard the words 'poor child', 'fathers should be vetted for their ability', 'woman would have known what to do before she got to that state', 'should have taken the child away from him' and similar words of matronly criticism before I got back to my car, packed Kristyn in it and went home.

Apart from our partners and matronly family members, I do believe that the female populous believe wholeheartedly that most men do not know what they are doing around children. While this might be true for most (if not all) new fathers - and new mothers for that matter - there are times when even an experienced soul appears inept due to circumstances they find themselves in.

I would also put it up for note that there are not many women who know their way around a car, a computer or a building site as instinctively as a lot of men do. Do they like it - or even put up with it - when we pass comment about their ineptitude in these situations? No they do not. They form a movement or get it classed as politically incorrect.

What's the chance that we would get a shoe-in to do the same with THIS issue?