Parents under pressure - dads more so

Firstly I've got to congratulate DIYFather.com on the launch of this site, because it is bucking a big trend. If you look at the parenting environment you quickly see that it is opposite to the business, sports, arts - hell, it's pretty much on its own. In every other environment, success is valued, celebrated and supported - failure is pretty much ignored. No one in New Zealand knows who our worst rugby player is, but we all know the best. We can reel of a list of business leaders and cultural icons like Bob Jones, Dame Kiri or the Finn brothers but, despite around 3,000 businesses a year closing no one knows or cares who the worst is.

Who are our best parents? No one knows but we all know who the worst ones are. The media trots out our latest case of child brutality with a relish that is disgusting and ignore the hundreds of thousands of parents who battle on day after day. The message is that no one cares if you are doing well, only if you fail. The message is that parenting is something to be ashamed of.
Government, through CYFS, pumps many millions of dollars into "at risk" parents but shows no interest in supporting or even acknowledging good parenting. However they are real quick to stand on a podium and present a business person with an award for environmentalism, being a good employer, innovation or just wearing a snappy tie.

All of this contributes to a grim picture for parents. There is nothing to inspire them to approach their role with any enthusiasm. Instead of looking at a hero (like an entrepreneur might look on Sam Morgan - the creator of Trademe) and thinking "One day, if I work hard at this I might be held in that regard". Parents get to see another parent standing in a court dock and think, "There but for the grace of God go I".

Fathers have it even tougher. Through the media witchhunt of child molesters we now have fathers uncertain if they should hug their children - fearful of what it might mean or be interpreted as. Steve Biddulph, author of the fabulous book, "Manhood", points out that just seven generations ago we were in pre-industrial revolution times. Then children had as much interaction with men as women because work and home were the same place. He suggests that our modern work practices have fractured the path for boys to manhood and as a society we are paying the costs.

So I'm really pleased to have this website up and running and can't wait to see what it develops into. Fathers need support - they need to feel good and positive about taking a strong role in raising the next generation, and this looks like it will be a great aid for them to achieve that.

Steve Gore