Useful Tips To Help Support Your Children Through Their First Christmas As A Separated Family

Dealing with divorce around the holidays is extremely difficult. Throughout the first year after separating, there is a great sense of missing something. Holidays and especially celebrating Christmas after the break up of a family can be traumatic and research shows that safe, continued, contact between children and the family members who no longer live with their kids is important for the children's well-being.

Here are some useful tips to help support your children through the holiday season:

• Try hard to put your children's needs first. Christmas is a time for children to enjoy themselves and have fun, not feel torn between their families.


• Planning, involvement and good communication are the key to the success of Christmas. Children will feel happier if they know what is going to happen in advance.


• Constantly reinforce to your children that you love them and that the separation is not their fault.


• Help your children find safe and healthy ways to express their feelings. Younger children may find it hard to label their feelings, help them do so through books and play.


• The Christmas season is often busy and full of late nights and disrupted routines, which can cause tension and anxiety in some children. Despite all the changes, aim to be as consistent as possible with routines and discipline.


• Be flexible and fair over Christmas with your ex and their family. Children need continuing contact with grandparents, aunts and uncles from both sides of the family. Accept that turn taking may have to take place.


• If you aren't spending Christmas day with your children, suggest having your own special day on a different date.


• To avoid duplication of gifts try to co-ordinate with the other parent what gifts will be given. It can useful to also agree on a set budget so you avoid competing with your ex.


• Include your kids in the planning. This will be more important as your kids get older as they want time to do their own thing as well.


• If you are a resident parent make sure your ex knows about and has the opportunity to go to your child's plays, music concerts, end of year events at school, etc. Competition between parents to attend events doesn't benefit your child.

By Rebecca Jackson

Rebecca Jackson is the founder of www.twohomes.com.au. A website created specifically to help, educate and empower separated parents. Rebecca's goal is to provide information, resources and tools that help create smooth transitions for families who share parenting – but not the same home. So kids can be kids and parents can relax knowing that their children are happy, stable and feel loved.

Rebecca is a single mother of 1, a freelance writer and is the primary content writer for twohomes.com.au. She also regularly contributes articles to parenting publications, forums and BLOGS and has her own BLOG - Single Mums Rock (www.singlemumsrock.com).