Wakey wakey!

All three of our children wake up too early. We consider 6:30 a lie-in, and it makes no difference what time we put them to bed either. During the week we have to rise early anyway, but at weekends and holidays it can be a bit much being woken to the dawn chorus of “mummy, daddy, I want my breakfast…. now”. It is especially galling though, when we come across those smug types who comment that they “have to go and wake their children”.

I try to console myself by working on the theory that our children emerge from slumber at such an unearthly hour because they are fast thinking and imaginative, eager to make the most of the day. By implication this means that their children are the opposite. Of course, I have no scientific proof in support of this theory, but it doesn’t matter. It is a psychological placebo. It dulls my senses. It allows me to force a smile, while imagining how dull and ordered it must be in their world. At least we start the day with an enthusiastic bang, with no time for navel gazing.

The only trouble is, we have no time for anything else either. Fitting in pillow talk, let alone a sex life, is made all but impossible when your first semi-conscious thoughts are “where am I, who am I, whose are these kids?” Then comes the kick of full consciousness and the alarming realization that you gladly volunteered yourself to become a parent and this is what you can expect every day for the foreseeable future. If only I could see the look of resignation on my face, wedged between two pillows trying to make the night last just a little longer. Being the dutiful husband and father can be like that, don’t you find?

By Gerard Cheshire