There are loads of information about pregnancy and what happens to the women’s body and mind, however very little about what that means to men. It can be a difficult time for men to have to adjust to the stages of pregnancy.
I will break the stages down by Trimesters
First Trimester (first 14 weeks)
Congratulations you’re pregnant! Well your partner is anyway, it is important to appreciate the many changes your partner will go through during her pregnancy. And the many ways you can help and enjoy these special moments.
Physical and Emotional Changes
Your partners’ uterus grows from the size of a peach, to the size of a Rock Melon during the first 14 weeks. Your partner may start complaining that her clothes don’t fit her anymore. And hormones are surging through her body, there is no preparing for this, keep your cool!
The foetus has grown from a single cell organism to something with a rounded head sporting a developed face, mouth, nose and eyes. With outer ears forming. The internal organs are fully formed however the lung, liver, kidneys and intestine will continue to grow and mature. The foetus will weigh about 30grams and is about 75mm long. At 14 weeks it is obvious what the sex is of the foetus, hope you have started thinking of names for the coming baby.
Morning Sickness
Morning sickness affects quite a lot of women. As for root causes for morning sickness, this is inconclusive. There is a current scientific hypothesis that indicates the morning sickness exists as a safeguard for the health of the foetus. The study indicates that the intake of alcohol, sugar, oils, and meat can trigger morning sickness. This then acts as a way of discouraging ingestion of less healthy foods.
The first trimester is often the most difficult. Keep cool, be supportive and most of all talk. Good communication between you both will get you through. Encourage her to meet and talk with friends from Antenatal groups, this reassures her that she is not alone in this experience.
Doctors Visits and Tests
You will get to know the route to the doctors like the back of your hand; Pregnancy is a time for doctor’s visits, most of which involve intimate examinations, tests and waiting for the test results.
The visits to the doctor’s are not free, so be prepared, this is also a great opportunity for you to support your partner, by attending as many of these visits as possible.
Some of the visits to the doctors include the ultrasound scans that enable you to see your baby’s development. Other tests include:
AFP/Triple Screen- This test is done to help provide a screening for Neural Tube Defects like spina bifida.
Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS)-Tests for genetic disorder as early as at 8 weeks of pregnancy.
Amniocentesis- This test can be done to help provide a screening for genetic abnormalities or for foetal lung maturity.
Glucose Tolerance Testing- This simple blood test tests to see if the woman has developed a form of diabetes during the pregnancy.
Sex
Sex in the first 14 weeks should not present any problems unless your partner has a history of miscarriage. It can stimulate increased sexual activity because you do not have to worry about birth control. You should avoid vigorous penetration, be gentle and remember that her breasts may be tender or painful; this may mean “you can look but you can’t touch” so enjoy the view.
Tips for Expectant Men
- Go along to as many of the doctor’s visits as possible
- Be gentle with her, especially her breasts
- Take on more of the household choirs
- Go for walks with her, encourage regular pregnancy safe exercise
- Eat healthy, the term eating for two is true, however it doesn’t mean eat twice as much, ensure your home has all the right healthy foods avaliable
- Keep your cool, your partner is going through some major emotional and hormonal changes (so its not always about you
- Communicate with her, and listen to her needs
- Enjoy it as much as you can
Second Trimester (14 to 28 weeks)
Welcome to the 14th to 28th week of pregnancy (the Second Trimester), this is also considered the best trimester, the vomiting experienced by many pregnant women is over (for most) and your partner is a glow with her pregnancy.
Physical Changes and Weight Gain
At this stage of the pregnancy a woman is happy to put on the weight, on average a pregnant woman can expect to put on around 12-14kgs during the pregnancy, it is very important that your partners food and nutrition intake is a well-balanced and healthy diet to produce a healthy baby.
The second trimester is when you will soon feel and see the movements of your baby in your partners belly; it is growing fast and developing more distinguishing features such as hair, eyebrows and eyelashes.
By the 28th week your baby has a relatively good chance of survival if born early, capable of independent existence.
The baby is about 37cm long and weighs 900grams by the end of the second trimester.
Sex???
There is not set rule here, some women are easily aroused and want sex more frequently, while others maybe too tired or worried that sex may harm the baby.
A pregnant woman’s breasts are often still tender, and her expanding abdomen will dictate positions also.
There may also be medical reasons such as frequent miscarriages, which may discourage penetrative sex until after the birth of the baby.
Open communication is needed at all times, to resolve any sexual difficulties.
Antenatal Care and Doctors Visits
Know that you know the route like the back of your hand, you should be on a first name basis with the doctor.
Attend an antenatal class to not only prepare yourself, but also to support your partner. They a wealth of information and a chance to meet with other men going through just what you are experiencing.
Contribute to a Birth Plan, have your say this is your chance to have your input into how you will contribute to the birth. For example will you cut the cord or not? Is it a homebirth or hospital birth?... however no matter how much or well you plan, your going to need to be flexible as they may change without notice.
If you can’t stand the sight of blood, be sure your partner knows that, and your not abandoning her, medical staff would rather you remove yourself than become another patient.
Tips for Expectant Men
- Go along to as many of the doctor’s visits as possible, the scans can be interesting
- Do an antenatal class together
- Contribute to a Birth Plan
- Be gentle with her, especially her breasts
- Take on more of the household choirs and help as much as possible
- Go for walks with her, encourage regular pregnancy safe exercise
- Maintain a healthy diet for a healthy baby
- Give her lots of TLC and tell her she looks great and is doing a great job
- Communicate with her, and listen to her needs and express your needs and concerns
- Enjoy it as much as you can
The Third Trimester-Weeks 28 to birth
Congratulations! You’re on the home stretch!
These final weeks can seem to go so slowly, unless you are renovating or setting up a nursery… then you’re just mad and you’re running out of time!
Physical Changes and Baby Growth
The baby is getting still growing rapidly and moving more vigorously, this is not a comfortable time for your partner; her body has to accommodate another human that wants to kick, punch, twist and bounce. She may experience a range of physical discomforts such back pain, heartburn, restlessness, sleepless nights, and frequent trips to the bathroom (try having something press on your bladder all the time)
Your partners mind and body is preparing itself for birth, it is really quiet amazing the changes that a pregnant woman goes through, there are surges of hormones and her pelvis softens. Forgive her if she forgets things, this is commonly referred to as baby brain. If your partner works, she may need to look at finishing up soon, to let her body do what it needs to do.
If your partner doesn’t do lack of sleep well, then remember to keep your cool and stick it out “its not all about you”.
At 28 weeks the baby is now covered with a greasy substance called Vernix, that protects the baby from the fluid which surrounds it in the womb. The baby's body has grown to catch up with the size of its head. The baby is now able to live, with specialized care, if it is born early. By 32 weeks the baby is perfectly formed. During the next few weeks it will add body fat, its lungs will mature.
Between the 38th week and the 40th week the baby's head will move into position in the pelvis ready to be born. Don’t be alarmed if the babies head does not turn into the pelvis, this is called a Breech position consult your doctor or midwife about what you can do to help your baby find their way around, and if it the baby doesn’t turn what that means to the actual birthing process.
Tips for Expectant Men
- Keep going to as many of the doctor’s visits as possible
- Do an antenatal class, it’s for you too
- Contribute to a Birth Plan; she may have changed her mind several times
- Be gentle with her
- Take on more of the household choirs and help as much as possible
- Go for walks with her, encourage regular pregnancy safe exercise, it will be good for you too
- Maintain a healthy diet for a healthy baby, this means you too
- Give her lots of TLC and tell her she looks great and is doing a great job
- Communicate with her, and listen to her needs and express your needs and concerns
- Assess your financial situation, your household is about to become a single income household, planning well in advance often softens the financial blow to parenting
- Get acquainted with your hand, sex maybe off the menu for sometime
Be interested, involved and communicate
GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!
YOU’RE ABOUT TO BECOME A FATHER!
All the best to you and your family
Reference:
Morning Sickenss:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morning_sickness
Wealth of information:
http://menshealth.about.com/
