Resources for Separating Dads


Separating is a common scenario for many families in New Zealand and a reality for many dads. While there is a vast amount of information available for separating dads the wealth of material is also often confusing, misleading, condescending or written in “legal speak” which nobody understands.


This situation is consistent with our experience of fathers’ awareness of ANY information relating to parenting. Most parenting material available at present is simply not received or accepted by fathers. To improve this situation the team at DIYFather.com has put together a series of articles for separating dads covering the following topics:

  1. Are we really separating?

  2. What happens to separated dads in New Zealand?

  3. Breaking the news – how do I (we) break the news about separating to our children?

Get all articles sent by email

Legal: What you need to know in plain English

  1. How does the Child Support Act 1991 affect dads?

  2. What are my responsibilities under the Care of Children Act 2004?

  3. How do I arrange day-to-day care of children and what are my legal responsibilities?

  4. How do I engage a lawyer and why do I need one?

  5. What should I do about my affairs, wills, trusts to make sure my children are financially looked after without my ex partner being involved?


Dealing with your ex wife
  1. How can I constructively organize and manage Shared Parenting Planning with my ex?

  2. How can we provide Positive Parenting (Child Focus) even though we are apart?

  3. The new partner – what rules and boundaries am I going to put into place around my new partner and my children?


Being a remote dad / single dad
  1. We’ve separated and the children were affected – how do I repair any damage or hurt from the past with my children?

  2. What am I going to do with the children on the weekends?

  3. How can I practically use my role as a separated dad to plan a positive future for my children?

  4. Where can I get good, commonsense support for dealing with and helping me with my children?

Looking after yourself

  1. How can I remain healthy and stress free?

  2. Why should I talk to someone else who has been separated before?

  3. Should I see a counsellor, why?

  4. Why should I get over it? I’m angry and pissed off!

Special occasions

  1. How are we going to manage Christmas, families, grand parents, access etc.?

  2. School Holidays – What can I do with my children in school holidays?

What happens when …

  1. Children’s behaviours relating to separation – what should be expected

  2. Concerns about Sexual and Emotional Abuse – signs and symptoms

  3. Dealing with allegations from CYF?

  4. Nature of child Support Payments – IRD Pathways, Mutual Agreement, Work and Income, Information Article

  5. Dealing with Family Court Orders – Protection Orders specifically

  6. What is a Police Safety Order

  7. My ex wants to take the kids out of the country

  8. My ex partner’s new partner – how to deal with this situation

This project officially launches on Father’s Day 2011 – 4 September.



Many thanks to the Barnardos, the Children’s Commission, the Families Commission, Relationship Services and the SKIP Team at the Ministry of Social Development for providing access to material and resources on separation.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>