This article was originally written by Emily Anthes and submitted for publication to DIYFather.com by Maurice Mok.

Tufts University recently hosted a scientific conference on the "parental brain." Or at least the maternal brain, which was the subject of eight symposia, while fathers and their brains were the focus of just one. Once, this imbalance would have seemed inevitable, since there didn't seem to be much to say about how becoming a father affects men physically. But now, evidence is accumulating that pregnancy and parenthood leave their marks on men's bodies. Women are not the only ones who are built for parenting, and recognizing that is good for fathers and the rest of us, too.

It can be an anxious time when you and your partner are expecting a new born. But it doesn't need to be a time for worry, but a time for excitement about what lays before you. If you are like me, you will think that when a women goes into labour you have only mere moments for a crazed dash to the hospital, when in fact you usually have far more time than you think. I think we have been brain washed by watching unrealistic TV programmes about the speedy arrival of newborns. In our case we had at least 3 hours before we really needed to be in at the hospital after my partners water broke and labour began, but playing it safe is not a bad way to be and arriving safely with plenty of time to spare is probably wise. However you need to trust the instincts of your partner, who will know when she must leave for the hospital. The hospital midwives are also a source of great comfort and assurance and are only a phone call away 24 hours a day.

I've heard the word 'vagina' said so many times over the last few months that I no longer find it amusing. Perhaps this is the sole purpose of antenatal classes – desensitising you to rude words so that you actually feel mature enough for fatherhood. Anyway, it has certainly worked on me, as I can now even look at pictures of bare breasts without so much as a smirk. When they said having a child would completely change your life, I never imagined it would take away such simple pleasures.

Having said all that, I wasn’t quite able to withhold my laughter throughout the childbirth video we were shown. I blame it on the dodgy background music and the fact that the woman sounded more like she was conceiving a child than giving birth to one. It didn’t help that we were introduced to the video as being a ‘Dutch film from the 80s’. I know that Holland produced some fairly explicit cinematic treats from that era, but nothing had quite prepared me for that display.

Yesterday Encarna came to the hospital to hold the baby so April could take a nap and I could walk home to pick up a few things. I didn't have much time at home, maybe thirty minutes, but I did grab a few DVDs off the shelf next to the TV. Even though we had been in the hospital for a day already, apparently I wasn't willing to give up the idea in my head that staying at the hospital after delivery is like staying home from work with a cold. Yes, you don't feel well, but really all you have to do is rest and get better. Eat, drink, lie around watching movies, and if you get really bored, find somebody to order around.

I guess I mean to say that I imagined that when all the drama of the delivery was said and done, the curtain would metaphorically close, and we would be left alone in our hospital room, our little nest, to get to know each other and be a family.

Expectant fathers have a lot of decisions to make when getting ready for the arrival of their first or new child. Many people create checklists to try and help them prepare, but it is impossible to make ready for every situation or need. There are many decisions during the pregnancy that dads really care about expressing an opinion but some are avoided at all costs.

Here are Five Decisions Expectant Fathers Tend to Avoid:

1. Choice of doctor or hospital - we're not the ones who need to feel comfortable being poked, probed and examined, so why should our opinion matter?

2. Room decor or bedding set - dads want kids to have cool rooms, but the only things we really care about when it comes to decor are how much it costs and the amount of work it will be for us to paint and set-up all of the furniture.

3. Formula or breastfed baby - as long as we can be involved in feeding the baby in some way, we don't really care where the milk comes from.

4. Natural or 'pain relieved' delivery - some dads may quietly think they have a strong position on this leading up to the big day; however, that quickly changes when they get in the delivery room with a screaming mom. In most cases, dads understand that they aren't the ones pushing the baby out, so they really don't have a say about epidurals or pain medications anyway.

A term that has come up for father’s who are starting a family again.

NEWS FLASH! I am going to become a recycled father!

First; I’m excited, very excited about becoming a Recycled Father.
Second; I’m honoured to be having the chance to have a complete family.

The only concern I had was how will my three children feel about their father having another child, and not only another child but a child that will live with him, and have their father all the time.
So when it came to sharing the news with my children, I just came out with it “Kids, Andrea is up the Duff, your going to have a new brother or sister”. They thought I was joking at first, but their expression changed when they saw that I was not joking, they were each excited in their own way.

Nastassja my eldest daughter doesn’t hide her excitement, about having a new brother or sister
Christian my son, is excited also for the same reason

Im sure there are lots of women out there who have had a rough pregnancy and thought I wish you could just understand what it would be like to endure pregnancy, well now we can. Scott Baio is pregnant. A stunt I know to see who is the “hotter” pregnant celebrity but at the end of the day let me know what you think guys?? Would you trade shoes with your partner/wife to have your child. To be honest I don’t have a very high pain threshold so probably best if I pass on that. The nine months were terrible and I guess I would find it hard to do what my wife did. I would obviously give it a go but would prefer not to.

So do you think we should look at the question of “Would you prefer to have your child or would you prefer that your wife/partner did”?

A study in both US & NZ shows a very strong link that teenage girls in these countries engage in sexual activity and also get pregnant without a father present.

Studies from psychologist Bruce J. Ellis of the University of Canterbury in New Zealand and his coworkers in the May/June Child Development state "These findings may support social policies that encourage fathers to form and remain in families with their children, unless the marriage is highly [conflicted] or violent,"

Prior studies have shown early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy among girls who grow up from infancy without a father. However, scientists have generally assumed that precocious sexuality results from a mix of adverse influences, including a father's absence, divorce, poverty, and the lack of parental guidance.

I didn’t realize just how different women where until they became pregnant and having a terrible pregnancy isn’t going to make you want to invite friends over too often, the mood swings don’t help – non pregnant people don’t understand why you have to go to the toilet every ½ hour and how you want to either pee or vomit and sometimes both!

So tell me why why why! – do we (men) now become part of the problem – you did this to me – this was told to me in jest but as humans I guess we do feel responsible in some way shape or form!

I find it hard to deal with sometimes – not sure what to say, how to touch her with out hurting her, how do other men get on with their partners, with the constant what every I do isn’t right – with the conversation starting with “can you get the…..I would but I can’t pick it up”.